Universal Traveler

Just a dude with a backpack, a plane ticket, and a nasty case of intercontinental wanderlust.

Name:
Location: Minnesota, United States

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Say WAT???

After several days "languishing" in Bangkok, I finally got off my ass and began my mission to Siem Reap, Cambodia to uncover the mysteries of Angkor Wat. Despite its position on the UNESCO World Heritage list and awe-inspiring beauty, Angkor Wat doesn't get much exposure in the West, so for a brief overview check out this site.

I should preface all this by noting that traveling from Thailand to Cambodia has long been problematic to varying degrees. As my guidebook says, "visiting the Thai/Cambodian border was once suicidal." That's no longer the case, but it still has its idiosyncrasies. Unlike travel within Thailand, nothing is "easy" in Cambodia.

Getting from Bangkok to the Border was simple enough, and I actually made it through Cambodian immigration with no problems. Thankfully, I was able to avoid the well-known "official" SARS clearance form scam. The Cambodian border town of Poipet, while dusty and unattractive, was not as menacing as reports had suggested. So maybe I let my guard down a little bit. Rather than insisting on taking a share taxi from Poipet to Siem Reap, as is recommended, I ended up booking a cheap ticket on a minibus. This was the start of my problems. We left as scheduled at 2 in the afternoon, but somehow I got stuck in a seat over the wheel well, meaning that I had my knees to my chest for the first 3 hours of the ride. Maybe this would have been marginally tolerable if not for one unalterable truth, namely:

The "road" from Poipet to Siem Reap is THE WORST "ROAD" IN THE UNIVERSE.

I say "road" only because I don't think a word exists in the English language that can accurately describe the thing that connects these two cities. It is truly apalling, to say the least. Probably only 5% has any pavement whatsoever, and of that, perhaps 5% is in what might possibly be described as "good condition." The rest of the road alternates randomly between mud bogs, ruts, potholes, and rock fields. Not 5 minutes into the journey, and I was seeing potholes that could kill a car at 20 paces. After 5 more minutes, I lost count. We rattled around helplessly in our minibus, and I felt as though my left lung had shaken loose and gotten tangled up in my small intestine. If I had any fillings, I'm sure I would have lost them. At one point, I decided to record our plight by sticking my digital camera out the bus window and recording a short movie. The result is a surreal little clip showing the bus buck up and down through the pothole minefield while our Cambodian driver whistles the tune to "Dancing Queen" by ABBA. Ask to see it when I get home.

I'm sure I could blabber on endlessly about the pure evil of this road, but the fact is it's impossible for anyone to even fathom until they've ridden it themselves.

Anyways, about halfway through the trip, our driver noticed something he didn't like about the behavior of the minibus, although I don't know how, since I felt like the thing was on the verge of explosion the entire time. So we pull over to a "service station" (i.e., a shack with some tools in it) to see what's the matter. Nothing major, it turns out...only that THE CHASSIS HAS A 3 INCH CRACK IN IT. Back in the USA, this would have instantly totaled the vehicle, sending it scrapyard-bound. In Cambodia, however, this translates into a 30-minute welding job. The mechanic hauled out some random piece of scrap metal, slapped it onto the frame, and sparks started flying. True to his word, in 30 minutes she was "good as new."

By some act of divine intervention, the bus was able to hold together for the rest of the ride...and only once did we have to get out and push to dislodge it from a mud bog! Can you guess how long it took us to traverse the 150 km (93 miles) from Poipet to Siem Reap? How about 10.5 HOURS. That's an average speed of 8.9 miles per hour. Incredible.

Once I finally made it to Siem Reap things settled down considerably, and I launched my multi-day exploration of Angkor Wat. I wish I could post some of the pictures I took of the temples, but the internet cafe I'm at doesn't allow it. Anyways, suffice it to say that it's truly a place of staggering enormity and artistry. The entire site is so huge that you realistically have to hire a tuk tuk or moto in order to see the best parts. Another great thing about Angkor Wat is that almost the entire place is up for exploration, and only a few sections are considered off-limits (mainly because the ruins in these sections are in danger of collapsing at any minute, so I'm not sure I'd want to visit them anyways). You can climb all the steps, peek into every nook and cranny, examine every relief and observe every sculpture. Really nice.

Well, after a few days playing Indiana Jones in Cambodia, I decided to head back to Thailand to begin the final stage of my Southeast Asia travels: beach mode. I am writing from the island of Koh Chang, a mountainous jungle island near the Cambodian border. The beach is beautiful, the water's perfect, and I have a beachfront bungalow that's costing me only $3.75 per night. Can't ask for much more than that.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Waaaaaah! My name is David and I want to see photos! Waaaaaah!

Man, you know a blog is on its last legs when you start seeing sophomoric post titles like that. But, in my defense, David (over at Your Thoughts Exactly) has been consistently critical about my inability to provide a constant flow of eye candy. AND he dropped an unprovoked low blow asserting that I only visit "white" countries. Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe Whitey is definitely in the minority in places like, say, Morocco and Turkey and Thailand and Cambodia. In fact, I am noticing a distinct shortage of cracker-ass crackers here in Bangkok.

So here are your precious photos, Dave. Now would you please kindly go to hell?

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HA! Just kidding about all that. You didn't really think I was an axe-grinding sociopath, did you? DID YOU?!?!?

On to the pictures!

The first set is from a canal cruise I took during my first few days in Bangkok. A local CouchSurfer chartered a longtail boat and invited Nammon (the guy I was CouchSurfing with) and myself along. Who were we to refuse?

This sight greeted us upon reaching the ferry pier. Did you know that Thailand has one of the highest rates of canine lung cancer worldwide?


This is the type of boat we rode in:

This monk was sweeping up outside a monestery we passed along the way. I'm not sure what he was burning...his own abandoned desire, perhaps? That would be a pretty cool Buddhist parlor trick:

Apparently there's something about canal cruises at sunset that cause me to grin like an idiot:

Hauling ass back to the pier:

The next two shots are from the ruins at Ayutthaya, which used to be the capitol of Thailand. I think they're pretty much self-explanatory:

I took the next several photos during a motorbike ride through the mountains around Pai and Chiang Mai in northern Thailand.

Said motorbike. These Honda Dream 100cc bikes are ubiquitous all over Thailand. Despite being underpowered, they are pretty fun to ride. This particular one was quite good to me during the few days I rented it. In fact, I believe it to be the latest reincarnation of the spirit of Blue Steel. I think I shall call him...Black Steel:

Rice fields near Pai:

The road to Soppong:

The last three shots are just garden variety tropical paradise shots I took on Koh Tao. No additional explanation is needed:

A Slight Change of Plans

Judging from my previous post, one would probably assume that my target destination for the near future is Laos. After all, it's a Lao visa that I've been waiting for all these days, right? Well, as the Flaming Lips might say, "suddenly everything has changed." Turns out I won't be going to Laos after all. Instead, I will go to Las Vegas.

Doesn't make very much sense, does it? Let me explain how this all happened.

While I was waiting for my Lao visa to process, I didn't feel much of an urge to go out and "see stuff," as I had already seen everything that I deemed worth seeing in Bangkok. (Not a very good attitude). So I spent most of my days...well, languishing. That's the best term I can think of to describe it. I think most people who have been here would agree that Bangkok is not a very good city to languish in, for reasons too numerous to get into here. But the end effect of it all was to put me in a rather pensive, reflective mood.

I started to ask those uncomfortable questions that travelers (universal or otherwise) tend to avoid. Questions such as Do I really want to go where I've planned? and Am I truly interested in this place? and Do I have the energy necessary to do these places/sights/experiences justice? and Just what the hell am I doing here anyway?

To which I answered "not really," "I don't think so," "probably not," and "gee, I really don't know," respectively.

I should also mention that I have observed a strange recurring phenomenon throughout my travels, whereby I might be hanging out in any particular location, having a good time, and then the mood suddenly turns stale and I get restless. This phenomenon culminates with me thinking to myself (pardon my French), "Christ, I've got to get the fuck out of here." Which I do. It's just that in the present scenario, "here" turns out to be anywhere other than home.

I initially assumed that there would come a time when I would realize I had traveled long enough. I had no idea when it would come, but I figured I'd run into it eventually. However, the longer I traveled without an inkling of such a feeling, the more I started to wonder if I was one of those folks that could travel indefinitely. A nomad. It's an intriguing thought, but a false one, apprently.

By now, I'm sure you can tell where all this is going. For better or for worse, it's time for me to go home.

David Byrne of The Talking Heads once elucidated the present feeling very precisely in a song called "What A Day That Was." Here's a lyrical snippet:

And if you feel like you're in a whirlpool
You feel like going home
You feel like talking to someone
Who knows the difference between right and wrong

And on the first day, we had everything we could stand
ooooooOOOOOOOooooooh, and then we let it fall
And on the second day, there was nothing else left at all
ooooooOOOOOOOooooooh, what a day that was


Oh, I almost forgot about the whole Las Vegas thing. When I called home to tell my parents that I'd be returning early, they mentioned that they were planning on going to Las Vegas (as a jumping-off point for visiting the Grand Canyon) in early October, and would I like to come along? Well, that sounded like good ol' wholesome family fun, so I jumped on the bandwagon. So on October 4 I'll be trading Bangkok for Sin City.

In the meantime, I have to make the best of my remaining time in SE Asia. Tomorrow I'm making the eastward slog to Siem Reap, Cambodia, which is the "base" for visits to Angkor Wat. I will admit that I'm not 100% gung-ho on the plan but, after all, it is supposed to be one of the most impressive sights in Asia, and apparently each year it becomes increasingly overrun by Japanese/Korean package tourists. I think it would be nice to see it before the highly unnatural presence of peace-sign-flashing, "Hello Kitty"-clad teenie-boppers is too much to bear.

After that, I think it would be the perfect time to find a nice, secluded beach on some coastal island. As luck would have it, this is pretty easy to do in Thailand. One last chance to lay out in the sun, collect my thoughts and otherwise while the hours away.

So I guess things are winding down, for my travels and for this blog. You can probably expect future posts to be less action-packed and more introspective than those in previous months. I think this is a natural consequence of my own effort to sort out the past 8 months and come up with some conclusions.

We'll see how that goes.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Worst...blog...ever...

Okay, I have a confession to make. You know how the "LOCATION:" heading of this blog has said "GOREME, TURKEY" for the past several weeks? Well, that is a lie. I haven't been in Goreme, or Turkey, or even Europe for that matter.

My current location? Bangkok, Thailand.

Yes, it's time I came clean. There is one last regional stop on the Universal Traveler itinerary, and that stop is Southeast Asia. Why did I choose to come here? Well, for a variety of reasons. First, it's nothing like New Zealand or Europe. Second, although it seems wildly exotic to most Americans, Southeast Asia is actually a well-traveled backpacker destination by global standards. Third, everything is dirt cheap here, and it's more or less the only region left on the globe (short of sub-Saharan Africa and select South American countries) that I can afford.

At the moment, I am stuck in Bangkok waiting for my Laos visa to be processed. This will take at least two more days, during which I'll try to fill in the blanks about my first three weeks in Thailand. But here's a small taste of what I've been up to so far:

I have...

  • ...skanked to the sounds of a Thai ska band, as improbable as that sounds.
  • ...been given ten seconds of airtime on a Bangkok pop radio station.
  • ...sat next to a saffron-robed monk on a regional bus ride.
  • ...discovered the taste sensation that is the banana pancake.
  • ...driven a motorbike through the mountains northwest of Chiang Mai.
  • ...pushed said motorbike to just over 100 km/hour on straightaways (if you are my mom, don't read that last sentence).
  • ...scuba dived among the coral reefs off the coast of Koh Tao.

Details (hopefully) forthcoming.